


A Simple Request

by HauntedAutomaton



Series: Mr. Universe and the Crystal Gems: Reunion Tour [6]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Awkward, Comedy, F/F, F/M, Funny, Gen, Pregnancy, Relationship Advice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-07 05:39:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13427946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HauntedAutomaton/pseuds/HauntedAutomaton
Summary: Ruby and Sapphire need help. In caring for Steven, their love has only grown, and they want to keep sharing the love they feel. They go to their friend and tennis partner Greg for a little help, but he might not be as keen on the idea as they are.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a bit of a crack fic, mostly as a long-form joke, but it was funny and sweet enough to share (I thought.) So here you are!

    Greg awoke with a start to three sharp taps on the back door of his van. He sat up, and shuffled out from under his collection of covers and laundry. Scratching the last remnants of dinner crumbs from his whiskers, he checked out the back window to try and find his guest.

    “Pearl?” he mumbled, but he didn’t see anyone outside. Not anyone at head height, at least.

    “Steven?” He tugged up on the ancient plastic handle to make it engage with the door latch, then forced open the hatch.

    He was greeted by a pair of tiny gems.

    “Greg!” cried Ruby.

    “Bwaugh!” shouted Greg.

    “Hello,” said Sapphire.

    The man, feeling his age, attempted to disengage himself from the nest of clothes and comforters he found himself in once again.

    “He-hey! Uh, is something wrong? I-is is Steven-”

    “Steven is fine,” Sapphire soothed, “he’s practicing with his band today.”

    Greg sat back up, pulling socks out of his hair.

    “Garnet is fine, too,” the little blue gem continued, “Ruby and I aren’t fighting-”

    Ruby nudged her hip into Sapphire’s and leaned a little closer. “Quite the opposite, actually.” The red gem gave what was supposed to be a subtle wink to Greg.

    Sapphire attempted to continue. “W-we’re doing great, and we’re still on for tennis this weekend, if you are.”

    Greg’s face slipped seamlessly from startled, to worried, to confused. Each expression was well practiced by this point in his peculiar life, although he was used to it going in the reverse order.

    “Uh...that’s...that’s great!” he tried to compose himself. “Yeah, tell Garnet I’ll be there...or...I guess you...”

    “She knows.” Sapphire attempted a reassuring smile.

“Yeah, good...uh...look forward to it.” Greg sat at the back of the van.

    The trio all eyed each other for a moment.

    “Sooo...uhm...” Greg attempted to break the silence, and immediately regretted it.

    “Sapphire,” she reminded him of her name.

    Ruby’s indignant eye shot to Greg. “You didn’t even remember her?!”

    “We don’t unfuse that often.” Sapphire took her fellow gem’s hand. “Especially on human timescales.”

    “Oh...right...” she looked a little sheepish, but held fast to her love. “I’d always remember you, though. No matter how long!”

    The blue gem let out a little laugh. “I know you would...”

    Greg still sat, legs crossed over a coil of AV cables, wondering if he could just go back to sleep without them noticing, but decided against it.

    “Well...Sapphire...I wasn’t really expecting company, so sorry the place is a bit of a mess...or did you just want to make sure I made it to tennis this week?”

    Sapphire quickly disentangled herself from Ruby. “Sorry...we...well we came to ask you a question.”

    “More of a favor, really, I think...” Ruby offered.

    “And we all thought, Garnet, Ruby and I, that it should be the two of us to ask you.”

    “Psh, more like Garnet was too chicken, so she made us do it...”

    “Well...” Sapphire tried to find the words. “We’ve...we’ve been so thankful. To have Steven in our lives.” Ruby held her closer, and nodded in agreement. “We’ve had the chance to watch him and help him grow, and he’s helped us grow so much as well...”

    “All of us,” said Ruby.

    “But he’s growing up now, and...” Sapphire’s voice remained steady, but only just. “And it won’t be too long before he’s...maybe on his own.”

    “What...you mean like he leaves Beach City?” Greg asked.

    “That is one possibility, yes,” Sapphire said.

    Greg untangled his leg from the cable coil. “Yeah, I know what you mean. The kiddo’s growing up so _fast_. I mean, I know I got lucky with him getting to have like...” he counted on his hand. “Four 10-year-old birthdays, but still...he’s gonna be fifteen soon. That’s...hoo boy...I left home at seventeen...”

    Sapphire rested a comforting hand on his foot. “It has been a wonder and a joy to help care for you son, and we want to keep helping as much as we can.”

    “Yeah, it’s been great for Garnet, too.” Ruby spoke up. “After Rose...Garnet wasn’t...she couldn’t...”

    “She became distant,” Sapphire said.

    “Yeah, that,” Ruby continued. “And Steven...Steven brought us back.”

    Greg shifted onto his knees, and tried not to let the floodgates open. “Well, uh, gee guys.” His voice hitched in a bit of a grateful giggle. “Thank you both for helping. And Garnet. Without her...oh man there’s no _way_...”

    “Yes, well,” Sapphire wiped a single tear away from under her bangs. “That’s why we’re here today. We need to ask you-”

    An excited Ruby interjected.

    “Will you give us a baby?”

    The van door slammed shut.


	2. Chapter 2

    “C’mon, c’mon...” Greg muttered, fumbling with his keys.

    By the time he made it to the front seat, he had them out, and slammed the key into the ignition. Before he could peel out of the carwash, though, the back axle of his van lifted off the ground, causing the tires to spin fruitlessly in the air.

    “Greg...” Sapphire began, floating outside his driver side window.

    “I’m not doing this again!” he locked the doors.

    As he did, the back hatch of his van was ripped off its hinges.

    “C’mon, Greg! Sapphy and I have really thought about this, and we’d like to have a kid!”

    “Stay back!” He picked up a nearby waffle iron, and scrambled into the passenger seat. “You little alien women don’t know what you’re saying!”

    Sapphire touched a hand to the glass window, freezing it, then shattering it. She floated inside the cab. “I know we’re asking a lot from you...”

    “Psh, I don’t know about that,” Ruby said as she climbed into the van. “I asked Amethyst about it and she said it’d only take him, like, a minute at most.”

    “Steven can’t lose another mom!”

    At this, Sapphire stopped, and sat down on the driver seat facing Greg, her legs tucked under her gown. “I know.”

    At this, Greg relaxed a bit, but still clutched the waffle iron.

    “Like we said, we’ve given this some thought,” Sapphire said. “Rose wanted to make something unique. She wanted to build a bridge between kinds. She chose to have Steven the way she did, so that he could be the best of both our worlds. But, we just want the chance to share our love like you did. Ruby and I want to make something more than ourselves, but we don’t have to sacrifice ourselves to do it. That bridge has already been built. Neither one of us would have to give up our gem.”

    Greg studied the small blue alien before him. She and Ruby really were in love. He could feel it between them every moment they were together. And these two wanted their love to grow into something beyond themselves. He remembered that feeling well.

    “...ok I’ll help you.”

    “Let’s get this over with!” Ruby exclaimed as she burst into the cab.

    “Grahgh!” Greg shouted, slamming Ruby in the face with the business end of a waffle iron, sending her tumbling back into Greg’s bedroom.

    “...Oops...”

    “She’s fine,” Sapphire assured him without looking. “Nice forehand, by the way.”

    “Uh...thanks...”

    “So,” she continued, “how does this work again? Will you need Ruby or-”

    “What-no! I’m giving you advice, and a phone number, and that’s it!”

    “Bwahuuuh?” Ruby groaned from the back seat.

    “Because you two want a child. A  _ human _ child. Who did you talk to about this ahead of time? Amethyst?  _ Pearl? _ ”

    Sapphire’s lip curled in thought.

    “I can tell you two are crazy about each other, and both of you helped so much with Steven, but having a baby, a  _ real human baby _ is gonna take some know-how that no gem on earth has.” Greg scribbled a phone number onto the back of a Aqua-Mexican receipt. “Here, this is Vidalia’s number. She helped me out with baby stuff more than I can possibly explain. She can also tell you all about stuff like adoption and surrogates and pregnancy things.”

    Sapphire took the slip of paper, and rubbed her thumb against the numbers for a moment.

    “I...well this isn’t what I expected.”

    “I thought you were the one with the fortune telling,” Greg said with a grin.

    “There were...a lot of ways this conversation could have happened.”

    Greg let out a nervous chuckle.

    “But most of them ended with this piece of paper, I just assumed this was a code of some kind.”

    Ruby picked herself up out of the back, and leaned forward with a checkerprint face.

    “Yeah, you humans are weird about this stuff.”

    “Ok,” Greg began to shoo them out of his van. “Well...I need to get my van repaired...again...and I’m sure you two have a lot to talk about.”

    “Greg,” Sapphire began.

    “Thank you.”

    “Yeah, thanks,” Ruby chimed in.

    The man chuckled as they scrambled out. “No problem you two, good luck!” He began looking around for the discarded back door, before adding, “And if you need anything else, let me kno-”

    Behind him bloomed a swell of magenta light and sound. Garnet passed him the door.

    “Thanks.” she said with a smile.

    “Oomf-” Greg took the door, and was able to lean it against the van.

    “Oh, hey, sure thing Garnet...though...if you don’t mind me asking...”

    “Hmm?”

    “Why come here as those two instead of...yourself...I just...I know you better...so...”

    “If just I had come here, that conversation might have ended  _ very _ differently.”

    Greg swallowed hard as he watched her leave.

    “See you this weekend,” She called back over her shoulder.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed something in particular about this, or thought of something that might work better in a spot or two, please let me know! I'm trying to get better, so all comments/criticisms welcome. I'd love to hear from you!


End file.
